museofspeed: (Angel yelling at Spike)
[personal profile] museofspeed
I've been thinking about it lately.

Recently I went through my old fic and f-locked a lot of it. Most of the stuff I f-locked was slash. Some of the slash is still open, never fear! It was just... the really weird ones, I guess. And the ones that I look back on and wince. I once swore I'd never lock away my fic, but hey, times change, so do people.

Those of you who've been with this journal a long time know, I used to love slash. It was maybe 80% of what I wrote, with femslash and het and gen filling in the last 20%. My newer friends know me as someone who might occasionally express an interest but would never write or roleplay it. Unless it was canon. I'm a canon relationships stickler.

But looking through my old stuff, well, some of it is good. That Tim/Bart fic where I taught the world about Hannukah, for instance, or my epic and hilarious all-dialogue Cable/Deadpool porn fic. I still enjoy the times I played with tropes, like the dubcon Tim/Bernard sexpollen fic or the Pink Kryptonite Madness fic. I like my four weird and porny Silver Age fics. I'm annoyed that I inserted Tim/Bart into everything to make it count for my [livejournal.com profile] fanfic100 table, which will probably forever remain at 90/100 finished. I like that I played with noncanon pairings and made them work.

But I love canon. If my fic dumps on or ignores canon pairings, I'm doing it wrong. I have trouble writing Tim/Kon because I love Kon/Cassie, and though I do see the sexual tension, how can I do that to his girlfriend?

And I get annoyed when people act like it's completely obvious that character x (usually Tim) is gay. Tumblr does this a lot. I see so many posts that are like, "Oh look, it's boyfriends Tim and Kon!" I'm all for pointing out the hurr hurr subtext or doing sexy fanart, but the fact of the matter is, canonically Tim and Kon are not boyfriends and they never will be. The worst was when someone posted a beautiful Tim/Cissie picture to Tumblr and captioned it "Cissie and gay best friend." It really pissed me off.

And now I'm in Buffy fandom, and sometimes I hide my former slashy ways. Slashing in Buffy fandom for me is a lot harder than slashing in DC. If Dick Grayson's bisexual, they wouldn't come out and say it for various political reasons that all start with "Wertham" and end with "Batman/Robin" and plus, huge risk on a character that popular. In Buffy fandom... well, I feel like the characters would admit to it. Willow's gay, of course, and Andrew never really admits it, but it's clear that he is, though I don't think even he knows it. One of the popular characters to slash is Spike, my favorite, but he is... kind of obsessive about women. I can't see him as gay, and I think if he were gay, he wouldn't hesitate to be obvious about it. The thing about being evil is you don't care about right and wrong. If he wanted to shag guys left and right, he'd do it, even in the 19th century. And hell, he canonically did have a one time with Angel. But I don't really see him having a thing for Wesley or Xander or Giles. Or, I don't see him having a thing for any of them and not acting on it. I mean, he's not really subtle.

That being said, I kind of want to write some Spike/Angel and do it right. Because I could do it a damn sight better than most people who write it. (For one thing, never once would the word "Peaches" be uttered unless describing a fruit). I've also always sort of wanted to write Spike/Buffy/Angel. I think it could be interesting. I like all three dynamics. Even Buffy/Angel. Sort of. Sometimes.

I guess the part that bugs me most is the people who like slash exclusively. But I've felt the same about people who only like het in the past, so the moral of the story is variety is good? I think I've pretty much decided that I should go back to being the Shana that doesn't give a damn what other people think. I'll write what I want, and it'll be awesome.
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August 2012

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