Fic: Oh God, My Eyes! Bart/Tim. R.

[museofspeed]

Title: Oh God, My Eyes!
Fandom: Young Justice
Characters: Bart Allen/Tim Drake, Iris West.
Prompt: For fanfic100: 10. Years. For dcu_freeforall: 31. Rapid Reflexes.
Word Count: 1130
Rating: R
Summary: Bart and Tim celebrate their anniversary.
Author's Notes: It's JusticeVerse! Thanks to julius12 for the beta, of course. Also, Iris' costume looks something like this. Also, this is my fiftieth Bart/Tim fic for fanfic100! This is indeed a glorious accomplishment, and I have exciting festivities planned which I will detail in the next post I make!

"Can you believe we've been married for a year?" Bart said. "Seriously, it feels both like it's been a ton less and at the same time, like we've never been not married."

"Gotham marriage laws haven't been in effect that long," Tim said dryly. He subtly sawed away at the steak Bart had cooked him.

"Yeah, but still." He grinned. "I love you."

"I love you too, Bart." The steak was really, really overdone. He appreciated Bart making the effort, though.

"So I got Jessie and Steph to cover patrol."

"Did you?" Tim asked. Seriously, he'd have to forbid Bart from using the stove.

"Uh huh. So tonight we don't have to go out. Though Carol and Bernard said they'd call us if there were any emergencies."

"Nice of them." Tim gave up and tried the mashed potatoes. There were crunchy bits.

"But it has to be a really big emergency." Bart watched Tim attempting to eat the meal. "We can get pizza if you want."

"No!" Tim said. "I love it! It's really sweet that you cooked the meal."

"But it sucks?"

"A little, yes."

"I'll run out and get us a pizza," Bart said. "Canadian Bacon?"

"My favorite."

"Can we get pineapple on it too?"

Tim shrugged. "Sure."

Bart vanished and returned three minutes later. Or so Tim assumed. The pizza boxes appeared on the counter and the plates they'd been eating on were clean before Bart even slowed down.

"I got more wine, too!" Bart said, filling both of their glasses. "To us!"

Tim smiled at him and raised his glass. "To us," he agreed.

The pizza was far better than Bart's cooking, but Tim didn't mention it. And Bart had managed to make a chocolate cake that tasted decent, even if it didn't look perfect.

And even though Bart was in his mid-twenties now, he still hadn't mastered eating neatly. Tim leaned over to kiss the frosting off of Bart's lips.

"You said we have the whole night free?" he murmured.

"Barring world-threatening emergencies, yeah," Bart said.

"Sounds wonderful."

Bart grinned. "Race you to the bedroom?"

Tim rolled his eyes. "That is the stupidest idea ev – oh." He blinked as he found himself deposited naked on the bed.

"You win," Bart said, leaning in the doorway.

"What happened to my clothes?"

"I took 'em off."

"And yours?"

Bart vibrated slightly and they fell. "What about 'em?"

Tim laughed. "Come here, you."

Bart fell on top of him and kissed him. Tim wound his hands in Bart's hair and moaned as Bart's kisses moved off his lips and down his neck.

"God, Bart, I love you, I – I – "

Bart stopped kissing for a moment, right above Tim's bellybutton, to smile at him. "I know," he said.

"Come on, lower," Tim begged.

Bart licked Tim's hardening cock and took it in his mouth. Then he vibrated his tongue.

Tim groaned. Bart gave the best blowjobs. The tongue vibrations felt amazing, but that wasn't even it. It was amazing because it was Bart, and his mouth – his mouth –

Was gone and Bart was wearing clothes and shoving Tim's clothing at him. "Quick!" he said.

"Bwuh-wuh?" Tim said. "Why'd you stop?"

"Iris just walked in on us."


Tim groaned. "You have to be kidding me."

"Nope. She didn't see us for more than half a second, but…" he shrugged. "Speedsters. Finish getting dressed. I'll go out and talk to her."



Iris West lay on the couch, one arm thrown dramatically over her head. "I'm scarred for life," she declared. "Seriously, shouldn't you guys put a hanger on the door or something?"

"You mean on our anniversary when we live alone?" Bart said.

"Exactly!" Iris declared. "Do you know how traumatizing it is to walk in on your favorite cousin having sex?"

"With his husband?"

"Your point?"

"You know, technically speaking you could have knocked."

Iris pouted. "Sure, blame me."

Tim walked out and sat next to Bart. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Haven't either of you noticed my new costume?" Iris said, up in an instant with her hands out.

It was purple with a blue lightning bolt. She had blue gloves and sneakers and goggles.

"It's great, Iris!" Bart said. "Wally's finally letting you do the superhero thing?"

Iris looked a little guilty. "Sort of," she admitted. "He said I could accompany him on patrols. But I have to run home if he says I've gotta." She scowls. "It's so not cool! I mean, Hel's doing a lot as Robin now, right? And I know Mar'i and Lian have been heroing forever."

"How's Jai feel about it?" Bart asked.

"Agh, he doesn't care at all!" Iris said. "He's just all, 'I guess I'll be Kid Flash someday,' and Dad's like, 'no hurry,' and I'm like, I wanna be a superhero now! So I made this costume and decided I'd be your sidekick, Bart."

"That'll annoy your dad," Bart said. He flashed a grin at Tim. He wasn't opposed to annoying Wally at all. "What's your codename?"

"Haste," Iris said. "Like it? It's got the same connotations as Impulse."

"It's great, kid."

"So can I go on patrol with you?"

Bart smiled. "Of course."

"Awesome!" Iris zipped around the room excitedly. "Come on, let's go!"

Tim looked at Bart and raised his eyebrows. Bart shrugged hopelessly. Tim shook his head slightly. Bart nodded.

"Iris, honey," Bart said, grabbing her shoulder. "I'd love to go on patrol with you, but right now? No."

Iris pouted. "Why?"

"Remember what we were doing when you came into our room without knocking?" Bart asked.

"Ew," Iris said. "I was trying to forget."

"That's great, but we kind of wanted to keep doing it. What with it being our anniversary and all."

"Subtle," Tim remarked.

"Very helpful, Batboy," Bart said, shooting a mock-scowl at him.

"Right, ew," Iris said again. "Fine, I'll go, but you promise you'll patrol with me? And not send me home even if it gets dangerous?"

"Yes, now go!" Bart said.

Iris hugged him. "Happy anniversary, Bart," she said, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before dashing off.

"Think she'll go home?" Tim asked.

Bart shrugged. "Maybe. Now." He vibrated, and his clothes fell off. "Weren't we naked?"

Tim laughed and kissed Bart, running his hands down his back to his ass as he did so.

"Hey guys! Forgot my goggles – OH GOD MY EYES!"

Bart broke the kiss. "For grife's sake, go away, Iris!"

"Sorry! Sorry!" Iris stumbled towards the coffee table with her hand covering her eyes and fumbled around until she found the goggles. She put them on and ran out.

"Think she'll be back?" Tim asked.

"Nah," Bart said. "She's been traumatized enough for a night. Unlike me. Traumatize me, Timmy?"

Tim picked Bart up bridal-style and carried him into the bedroom. "I'm always up to traumatizing you, baby."