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museofspeedTitle: Fastest Baby Alive
Fandom: JLI
Characters: Bart, Barry/Iris, Wally, Booster/Ted, Guy/Tora, Bea.
Word Count: 1000
Rating: G
Summary: Wally's gotta babysit his little cousin. It really sucks cause Bart's a dumb baby.
Author's Notes: Takes place in![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
duskdog717's Cootieverse! For those that haven't read it, you're missing out. But it's basically an ultra-adorable elementary school AU. I couldn't resist...pardon the pun...playing in this sandbox. It was too adorable not to! Also, thanks to julius12 as always for catching my idiotic mistakes!
"Teeeed, Booooster," Wally whined. "You gotta help me!"
"Why?" Ted asked. He and Booster were playing on the swings. "And who's the baby?"
"The baby's why!" Wally said. "He's my little cousin Bart, and Iris said I had to watch him cause she and Barry were onna date and Bart kept eating the cookies and they wouldn't let me have any chocolate milk!" Wally scowled. "So I gotta play with a dumb ol' baby. He can't even walk."
Bart giggled and muttered some nonsense words.
"He's sure talkative," Booster said. "Wouldja pay us to take care of him?"
"I wouldn't pay you! I'm saving up for this cool model plane thing."
"We're not gonna help unless you pay," Booster said.
"You don't gotta do anything! Look, he's really dumb, right? And annoying? Look." Wally grabbed a big rock and handed it to Bart.
Bart tried to eat it.
"He's stupid and annoying and I hate him," Wally said, scowling. "So I just wanna leave him there and we can play and run back to him if he's gonna die or something, okay?"
Booster and Ted looked at each other. Then they looked at Wally.
"Okay," they said together.
"And Skeets says it's okay too," Booster said.
"Skeets isn't real," Wally said.
"Yes he is!" Ted and Booster said.
"Nuh-uh," Wally said.
"Uh-huh," Booster said.
"Nuh-uh!" Wally said.
"Uh-huh!" Booster said.
"Uh-huh!" Wally said. It had always worked for Bugs Bunny.
"Ha!" Booster smirked.
"But – "
"Uh, guys?" Ted said. "What happened to Bart?"
Wally turned around. Bart was gone. Bart's stupid stuffed dog, Dox, was there, but that was it.
"Oh no!" Wally wailed. "Iris an' Barry are gonna kill me! We gotta find him!"
"I'll build a baby-finding machine!" Ted said, jumping down from the swings.
"No way! There's no such thing," Wally said.
"But Ted can make one anyway," Booster said. "Cause he's an inventinator."
"An inventor, Booster. Gee, get it right!" Ted pulled out his calculator. "Kay, I need to type in his age and his cord-nates."
"What's a cord-nate?" Booster asked.
"It's that number on his house," Ted said. "Cause then my baby-finder'll find him."
"I thought that was your calculator!" Wally said.
Ted gave him an annoyed look. "Duh. It's a calculator slash baby finder."
"Yeah, duh!" Booster said.
"You're just agreeing with him cause you're married," Wally said.
"No, it's cause he's right!" Booster said.
"I'm just gonna look for him," Wally said.
"We'll find him first!" Ted said. "I'll bet you Booster's football!"
"Yeah, we'll be there – Hey!"
"Okay, Tora, you gotta catch the football like this, right?" Guy threw the football.
"Like this?" Tora caught it and fell with the impact.
"Don't throw so hard, you bully!" Bea said. "Throw it here, Tora."
Tora made a sort of wobbly toss that Bea caught easily. Bea smirked and hurled the ball at Guy.
It missed him by about three feet and fell to the ground next to a baby that had crawled onto the field without any of them noticing. The baby grabbed the ball and tried to eat it.
"Oh, Bea! You almost hit him!" Tora said reproachfully.
"I wasn't trying to!"
"She's just got bad aim cause she's a girl," Guy sneered.
"Oh yeah?" Bea said. She tackled him.
Tora walked over to the baby. "Where's your mommy and daddy?" she asked.
The baby didn't answer.
"Bea, Guy, please stop fighting," Tora said, turning around. "We've got to find this baby's parents!"
Bea and Guy got up, glaring at each other and walked over to Tora.
"Didja check his underpants?" Guy asked. "Some parents put the kid's name in 'em."
"Guy!" Bea said.
"Maybe he doesn't have any parents," Tora said. "Guy, do you think we can adopt him?"
"We can't adopt him! I've already adopted Kyle, how many kids can we have?" Guy said.
"It might be nice to give Kyle a little brother to play with," Tora said.
"He's kinda cute," Guy admitted.
"Oh, please," Bea said. "Guy? A daddy?"
"Guy's a great daddy!" Tora said. "He loves kids."
Guy looked embarrassed. "Well, just some kids. Not the annoying ones."
"Heyguyshaveyouseen – " Wally ran over to them, breathing hard. "Have you seen my cousin Bart?"
"Nope," Guy said automatically. "Go away, Wally."
"He's right there sitting with Tora!" Wally said.
"Bart!" Tora said. "That's such a cute name!"
"Yeah, I'm supposed to be watching him cause Iris and Barry are on a date."
"Sure not doing a very good job of it," Guy said.
"He's a stupid baby! He's not s'posed to be able to go faster than me! Here, I'll take him back now," Wally said. He pulled the football Bart was gnawing away.
Bart started to cry.
"Hey!" Guy said. He scowled and grabbed the ball back. "You made him cry!" He gave the ball back to Bart, who immediately stopped crying and started gnawing again.
"What do you care?" Wally said. "He's my cousin."
"Guy and I adopted him," Tora said, petting Bart's head.
"Yeah, so butt out!" Bea said. "You're mean!"
"I'm gonna tell Barry and Iris on you!" Wally said. "He'll be real mad and make you give him back!"
"Yeah, then I'll tell 'im that you lost a baby!" Guy said.
"I didn't lose him! He was with you!"
"Yeah, but you didn't know that," Guy said. "Go away before I beat you up."
"Didn't Bruce Wayne knock you down with one push that one time?"
"That's not funny!" Guy scowled.
"Go away, Wally!" Bea said, punching her open palm.
Wally looked at her and decided not to risk it. "Okay, fine, but if you don't watch him, Barry's gonna be mad!" He ran away.
"Ha!" Bea said.
"Showed him," Guy said.
"Thank you, guys," Tora said, cuddling Bart.
Bart dropped the football and tried to bite Tora's arm.
"Here, I'll take 'im," Guy said.
Tora passed Bart over to Guy.
Guy held Bart and let him chew his finger.
Bea watched him. "You know?" she said, "Maybe you won't be such a bad father after all."
Fandom: JLI
Characters: Bart, Barry/Iris, Wally, Booster/Ted, Guy/Tora, Bea.
Word Count: 1000
Rating: G
Summary: Wally's gotta babysit his little cousin. It really sucks cause Bart's a dumb baby.
Author's Notes: Takes place in
duskdog717's Cootieverse! For those that haven't read it, you're missing out. But it's basically an ultra-adorable elementary school AU. I couldn't resist...pardon the pun...playing in this sandbox. It was too adorable not to! Also, thanks to julius12 as always for catching my idiotic mistakes!"Teeeed, Booooster," Wally whined. "You gotta help me!"
"Why?" Ted asked. He and Booster were playing on the swings. "And who's the baby?"
"The baby's why!" Wally said. "He's my little cousin Bart, and Iris said I had to watch him cause she and Barry were onna date and Bart kept eating the cookies and they wouldn't let me have any chocolate milk!" Wally scowled. "So I gotta play with a dumb ol' baby. He can't even walk."
Bart giggled and muttered some nonsense words.
"He's sure talkative," Booster said. "Wouldja pay us to take care of him?"
"I wouldn't pay you! I'm saving up for this cool model plane thing."
"We're not gonna help unless you pay," Booster said.
"You don't gotta do anything! Look, he's really dumb, right? And annoying? Look." Wally grabbed a big rock and handed it to Bart.
Bart tried to eat it.
"He's stupid and annoying and I hate him," Wally said, scowling. "So I just wanna leave him there and we can play and run back to him if he's gonna die or something, okay?"
Booster and Ted looked at each other. Then they looked at Wally.
"Okay," they said together.
"And Skeets says it's okay too," Booster said.
"Skeets isn't real," Wally said.
"Yes he is!" Ted and Booster said.
"Nuh-uh," Wally said.
"Uh-huh," Booster said.
"Nuh-uh!" Wally said.
"Uh-huh!" Booster said.
"Uh-huh!" Wally said. It had always worked for Bugs Bunny.
"Ha!" Booster smirked.
"But – "
"Uh, guys?" Ted said. "What happened to Bart?"
Wally turned around. Bart was gone. Bart's stupid stuffed dog, Dox, was there, but that was it.
"Oh no!" Wally wailed. "Iris an' Barry are gonna kill me! We gotta find him!"
"I'll build a baby-finding machine!" Ted said, jumping down from the swings.
"No way! There's no such thing," Wally said.
"But Ted can make one anyway," Booster said. "Cause he's an inventinator."
"An inventor, Booster. Gee, get it right!" Ted pulled out his calculator. "Kay, I need to type in his age and his cord-nates."
"What's a cord-nate?" Booster asked.
"It's that number on his house," Ted said. "Cause then my baby-finder'll find him."
"I thought that was your calculator!" Wally said.
Ted gave him an annoyed look. "Duh. It's a calculator slash baby finder."
"Yeah, duh!" Booster said.
"You're just agreeing with him cause you're married," Wally said.
"No, it's cause he's right!" Booster said.
"I'm just gonna look for him," Wally said.
"We'll find him first!" Ted said. "I'll bet you Booster's football!"
"Yeah, we'll be there – Hey!"
"Okay, Tora, you gotta catch the football like this, right?" Guy threw the football.
"Like this?" Tora caught it and fell with the impact.
"Don't throw so hard, you bully!" Bea said. "Throw it here, Tora."
Tora made a sort of wobbly toss that Bea caught easily. Bea smirked and hurled the ball at Guy.
It missed him by about three feet and fell to the ground next to a baby that had crawled onto the field without any of them noticing. The baby grabbed the ball and tried to eat it.
"Oh, Bea! You almost hit him!" Tora said reproachfully.
"I wasn't trying to!"
"She's just got bad aim cause she's a girl," Guy sneered.
"Oh yeah?" Bea said. She tackled him.
Tora walked over to the baby. "Where's your mommy and daddy?" she asked.
The baby didn't answer.
"Bea, Guy, please stop fighting," Tora said, turning around. "We've got to find this baby's parents!"
Bea and Guy got up, glaring at each other and walked over to Tora.
"Didja check his underpants?" Guy asked. "Some parents put the kid's name in 'em."
"Guy!" Bea said.
"Maybe he doesn't have any parents," Tora said. "Guy, do you think we can adopt him?"
"We can't adopt him! I've already adopted Kyle, how many kids can we have?" Guy said.
"It might be nice to give Kyle a little brother to play with," Tora said.
"He's kinda cute," Guy admitted.
"Oh, please," Bea said. "Guy? A daddy?"
"Guy's a great daddy!" Tora said. "He loves kids."
Guy looked embarrassed. "Well, just some kids. Not the annoying ones."
"Heyguyshaveyouseen – " Wally ran over to them, breathing hard. "Have you seen my cousin Bart?"
"Nope," Guy said automatically. "Go away, Wally."
"He's right there sitting with Tora!" Wally said.
"Bart!" Tora said. "That's such a cute name!"
"Yeah, I'm supposed to be watching him cause Iris and Barry are on a date."
"Sure not doing a very good job of it," Guy said.
"He's a stupid baby! He's not s'posed to be able to go faster than me! Here, I'll take him back now," Wally said. He pulled the football Bart was gnawing away.
Bart started to cry.
"Hey!" Guy said. He scowled and grabbed the ball back. "You made him cry!" He gave the ball back to Bart, who immediately stopped crying and started gnawing again.
"What do you care?" Wally said. "He's my cousin."
"Guy and I adopted him," Tora said, petting Bart's head.
"Yeah, so butt out!" Bea said. "You're mean!"
"I'm gonna tell Barry and Iris on you!" Wally said. "He'll be real mad and make you give him back!"
"Yeah, then I'll tell 'im that you lost a baby!" Guy said.
"I didn't lose him! He was with you!"
"Yeah, but you didn't know that," Guy said. "Go away before I beat you up."
"Didn't Bruce Wayne knock you down with one push that one time?"
"That's not funny!" Guy scowled.
"Go away, Wally!" Bea said, punching her open palm.
Wally looked at her and decided not to risk it. "Okay, fine, but if you don't watch him, Barry's gonna be mad!" He ran away.
"Ha!" Bea said.
"Showed him," Guy said.
"Thank you, guys," Tora said, cuddling Bart.
Bart dropped the football and tried to bite Tora's arm.
"Here, I'll take 'im," Guy said.
Tora passed Bart over to Guy.
Guy held Bart and let him chew his finger.
Bea watched him. "You know?" she said, "Maybe you won't be such a bad father after all."
