museofspeed: (Kon/Cassie)
[personal profile] museofspeed
Title: The High Cost of Living Again
Fandom: Teen Titans
Characters: Kon, Cassie, Tim.
Word Count: 2457
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Kon hasn't changed a bit. Cassie has, though.
Author's Notes: Dedicated to [livejournal.com profile] geministar01 who didn't think Kon coming back as Nightwing could be done well. I hope this proves I'm right that it can be done well. Uh...this is kind of a depressing. Thanks as always to [livejournal.com profile] julius12 for being my favorite beta.



Cassie looked up at the statue of Conner as she walked into Titans Tower, as she did every weekend. It only caused a dull ache now, like an old wound that still hurt when it rained. She could finally move on. Not to Tim, that relationship hadn't been good for either of them, but to someone else. Or no one. She'd never needed a man until she and Kon had started dating. Either way. She still missed Conner, she still loved him, but she could keep living. She could see other people. She was back in control of her life.

She even smiled at Rose in the hallway. Rose gave her a startled look and walked into a wall. Cassie ducked her head and tried not to laugh. She really had been acting pretty bitchy to Rose. She'd try to change that.

She grabbed two cups of coffee and went to find Tim.

He was sitting in the control room, his face frozen into the particular blank expression he wore when he wanted to cry, but couldn't bring himself to show the emotion.

Cassie put down the coffee and walked over to him. "What's wrong?" she asked.

Tim was staring at a blurry security feed image. It was a close up of a masked face. The confident smirk was a little familiar, but Cassie couldn't place it.

"Conner," Tim said, in a strangled voice.

Oh, that. It was Conner's smirk.

"He's gone," Cassie said, putting a hand on Tim's shoulder. "Come on."

She'd thought Tim had healed faster than she had from Conner's death. Apparently, she'd thought wrong.

Tim nodded, still staring at the security image. Cassie leaned over and turned off the screen. "Team meeting," she said. "Remember?"

Tim blinked, rubbed his eyes, and nodded. "Right," he said. "I don't know what came over me."

Cassie hugged him. "It still hurts me, sometimes, too," she said. "But he wouldn't want us to spend our lives wallowing in pain. He was always so happy. He'd want us to be happy."

Tim nodded. "Yeah, of course," he said. He shook Cassie off and pulled out a PDA. "We have to talk to Jaime and Eddie about not destroying things in the rec room."

Cassie nodded. "They're as much as a headache as Impulse and Superboy were," she said, smiling sadly.

Tim stiffened. "I… yeah, yeah they are."

Cassie squeezed his shoulder and they walked into the meeting room.

There was a young man in black spandex floating cross-legged in the front.

"Excuse me," Tim said. "Who are you and how did you get in here?"

The man grinned. It was Conner's grin. He looked a lot like Conner. The costume was wrong, but Cassie would know that face anywhere, mask or no mask…

It couldn't be. It had to be. Cassie didn't know how to react.

"Hey," the man said. "I'm Nightwing. The Kandorian one, not your brother. And I'm here to join the Titans!"

"We're not recruiting currently," Tim said. "And you haven't answered how you got in here."

"C'mon, Timmy," Nightwing said, flying over. "You didn't disable my access code! How do you think I got in?"

"Conner," Cassie whispered.

Nightwing grinned at her. "Hey, babe," he said. He grabbed her. "Miss me?"

Cassie just stared at him. "This can't be real."

Conner – no, Nightwing. It couldn't be Conner. Conner was dead. Cassie was over him and she shouldn't be still thinking about him and falling for these things after all this time – he kissed her, gentle and deep, and no one had ever tasted exactly like Conner, or smelled like that, and it was how he kissed…

Cassie tore away and punched him across the room.

"You bastard!" she shrieked. "I'm over you! How… how dare you come back! How dare you assume I haven't moved on! You've been dead!"

Nightwing rubbed his jaw and gave her a hurt look. "But… Cass… I love you."

"It's been a hard few years," Tim said, sounding entirely unaffected. Cassie noticed the Batarang he'd slipped into his hand, though, and how tense his mouth was.

"Hard!" Cassie said. "It's been – I'm finally free of you! Couldn't you have come back a year ago? A year and a half? I don't need you anymore! Why are you here now?"

"Cass," Nightwing said, looking up at her. He flew over to them. "I never, ever, wanted to hurt you. And I mean, I wanted to go back to you but I was tiny and trapped in a bottle. But I missed you the whole time. You're my girl. Can't we just go back to how things were before I died?"

"Things aren't they way they were before you died," Cassie said. "You… what the hell? How are you here?"

"Yeah, the whole dying thing?" Nightwing said, "Turns out us Kryptonians don't kick it that easy, remember? But instead of a nice sunbath, I was six feet under which made me pretty much not able to get the solar energy I needed to heal. Then Brainiac noticed the life signal and zapped me into his Kandor bottle to… I dunno, study I guess. But yeah! I'm back and I got a sidekick and everything! Her name's Flamebird! You'd like her, Tim. She's got the same size stick up her ass."

"Nightwing and Flamebird," Tim said.

"Yeah, a Kryptonian hero inspired Dick, and he inspired me," Nightwing said, shrugging. "So we were the heroes of Kandor. It's pretty cool. But hey, now I'm back! That's the important thing!"

Cassie shook her head disbelievingly. "I cannot deal with this right now," she said. "I… Tim," she said, pleadingly.

Tim nodded. "You can go," he said. "I'll… try to verify his story."

"What, who else could I be?" Nightwing asked.

"If you really are Kon, you'll understand why we need to make sure," Tim said.

"Or maybe not," Cassie said. "He was always a little thoughtless about other people's feelings. I'd forgotten about that."

"Hey!" Nightwing said. "I was not! I'm thoughtful!"

"Right, because it was so thoughtful to let us think you were dead for two years! I've gotten over you, Conner! I was ready to move on with my life! And now…" Cassie shook her head. "I have to go."

Tim nodded. "I'll take care of this," he told her. "You take all the time you need."

Cassie looked at him. She could tell that he wanted to just up and leave too, but he was holding it in. Bat training. She'd never been so glad of Tim's ability to suppress his emotions as she was right then. She gave him a grateful smile, and flew full force out of the room.

"Wait – " Nightwing said, but Cassie was gone before she could hear anymore.

Rose was waiting outside the door, very clearly listening in.

"Superboy's alive?" she said incredulously. "And you don't want him back?"

"Shut up, Rose," Cassie said.

"What happened to, 'Oh, Conner! My one true love!'" Rose brought a hand up to her brow and pretended to swoon. "'I have no idea how I can continue to live without you!'"

"I got over it," Cassie snapped. "I'm ready to live again. And he's back." She whirled around and punched the wall. It dented under her fist.

"Hey, if you don't want him, I'll take him," Rose said.

Cassie whirled around and shoved Rose into the wall. "Don't even think about it," she growled.

Rose laughed. "There's the Wonder Bitch we all know and love," she said. "And to think I almost worried you were mellowing out!"

Cassie glared at her for a minute and let her drop back to the floor. "Don't follow me, Rose," she said. She took off and flew to the roof.

She sat on the roof and tried not to think of the times she and Conner had come up there to be alone. She should be over this, dammit! And if that new Nightwing was Conner, she should be happy! What was wrong with her?

If anyone had asked her yesterday if she would be happy if Conner returned to life, she would have told them without hesitating that nothing could possibly please her more, but in reality…

She felt silly for mourning him. What was the point if he'd been alive the whole time? The stupid resurrection cults. Tim's cloning. The months of trying to forget how in love she'd been. Pointless.

And he'd just kissed her! As if they were still in love and still dating! As if she hadn't spent the last two years feeling like her heart had been ripped out!

He was the piece that was missing to make her feel complete, but she'd already started to heal. He only made her hurt more by trying to fit back in.

After a while she noticed a silent presence behind her.

"I know you're there, Tim," she said.

Tim walked over to her and sat next to her. "It's really him," he said.

"I know," Cassie said.

"For what it's worth, he isn't trying to hurt you," Tim told her. "And he does love you."

"I know," Cassie said.

Tim sat silently.

"How do you feel about it?" Cassie asked.

"I'm mostly happy," Tim said. "I missed him. I wish it could have been sooner."

"Great," Cassie said. "Now I feel like a total jerk. Can't I just be happy? I love him! He's alive! I should be ecstatic!"

"You worked hard to get over him," Tim said. "It's understandable that you'd have trouble coming to terms with him being back."

"I don't know what to think!" Cassie said.

"You should talk to him," Tim said. "Tell him this. Not me. He's a good guy. He'll understand."

"I don't know if I'm ready," Cassie said. "I don't understand myself. How can I make him?"

"What do you want?" Tim asked.

"I don't know!" Cassie said.

"Do you love him?"

Cassie nodded. "I know that much. Yes, I definitely love him. Even after everything he's put me through."

"Do you want to get back together with him?"

"I…" Cassie wasn't sure. "I was ready to move on," she said. "But now I don't have to, but it also means I can't. I don't think I can be with him right now. He's not good for me."

"I always thought you two were good together," Tim said. "The perfect couple."

"That was before he died," Cassie said. "I'm just beginning to rediscover me without him. I can't go back to him now just because he's alive."

"I understand," Tim said. "But you have to tell him that."

Cassie groaned. "He'll hate me, won't he?"

"I doubt it," Tim said. "He loves you as much as you love him."

"I know," Cassie said. "This will kill him again. Maybe I should just go back to him. I don't want to hurt him."

"Cassie, don't," Tim said." Don't go back to him out of guilt. That will hurt both of you more in the end."

"I know," Cassie said. "I'll talk to him."

Tim nodded and squeezed her shoulder. "Good."

"Is he still down there?"

Tim nodded.

Cassie smiled at him. "Thanks," she said.

"Anything," Tim said. "But be gentle with him. He does love you."

Cassie nodded and walked back down to the meeting room.

Nightwing was floating in a corner. He was curled up sadly.

"Conner?" Cassie said.

He looked up eagerly. "Cass?" he said hopefully. "You believe me?"

Cassie nodded. "Robin said it was really you. Look… can we fly?"

Conner nodded. "Where to, my lovely lady?"

Cassie shook her head. "Anywhere. Just… out."

Conner followed her to the roof. Cassie squinted and thought she saw Tim lurking in the shadows, but she couldn't be sure.

She took off. Conner flew after her and took her hand.

"Cassie," he said, grinning widely. "I've missed you so much."

Cassie pulled her hand away. "I've missed you too," she said. "But Conner, we need to talk."

He frowned. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"It's just… you've got to understand, Kon, it's been two years! I love you, I probably will always love you, but I've moved on!"

Conner's face fell. "You're seeing someone," he said.

Cassie shook her head. "No, but I have moved on. What we had was wonderful, and I'll always look back on it happily, but I've spent too long mourning you. You can't just waltz back into my life and expect me to fall for you again. I… I need some time. I need to find out who Wonder Girl is without Superboy. I've only begun to discover myself, really, and I can't go back. Do you understand?"

"No," Conner said. "Not at all. I love you, you love me, what's so complicated?"

"I don't like who I am when I'm with you!" Cassie said. "I don't even know what happened, and it probably wasn't all you, but when I started seeing you… I turned into someone who I just don't like! I wasn't me anymore!"

"I dunno what you're talking about," Conner said. "You were always you."

"I was different," Cassie said. "And your death… I can't even tell you how much I failed to deal with it at first. I've done some truly crazy things in the name of bringing you back to life and letting you go. And I don't want to have to go through that again."

"You don't have to!" Conner said. He hugged her. "Cassie, I'm not gonna die again."

"Conner, you can't know that, and we cannot date!" Cassie said. "Look, I'm really sorry. I know you'll find someone better for you than I was someday."

Conner scowled. "You're breaking up with me?" he asked.

Cassie nodded. "I'm sorry," she said. "I hope it doesn't affect our friendship."

"I can't believe this," Conner said. "You're breaking up with me, but you still want to be friends. Well, I've slept with a lot of people, and do you know how many of them I'm still friends with?" His voice cracked a little. "None! They're all dead or in a different fucking era! So please, leave me my pride, don't suggest we just be friends." He turned, hurt. "You weren't even that good in bed, you know. And you took for fucking ever to put out. Don't know why I even bothered."

Cassie was a little surprised to find it didn't really upset her. It stung a little, but she knew Conner didn't mean it, not really. He usually lashed out when he was angry. She knew he didn't mean it.

He flew off at full speed, and Cassie whispered, "Bye, Conner."

She thought he probably had heard, but she couldn't know for sure.

Date: 2009-01-09 02:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] milleniumrex.livejournal.com
OUCH.

Also, very On-the-couch-esque. XD

This was really good. Painful in all the right ways. And I'd like it said that damn it, it better be him, DC!

Date: 2009-01-09 02:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] museofspeed.livejournal.com
<3

I'll admit, I picture the Cassie/Kon break-up in OTC going a lot like this. Except not Nightwing.

Thank you! I'm really hoping it's him too.

Date: 2009-01-09 02:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ex-felonazc.livejournal.com
DAMMIT KON, STOP SAYING STUPID SHIT WHEN YOU'RE HURT! It always ends bad. *sighs*

In other news, *wibble* ♥!

Date: 2009-01-09 02:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] museofspeed.livejournal.com
He really should learn not to do that. Lucky Cassie knows him well enough not to take it to heart.

<3 Aww! Thank you!

Date: 2009-01-09 04:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cissie-king.livejournal.com
I have to say that Connor turning up all not dead and Cassie going all "Why can't you stay dead? Don't you see why that does to MY life? Nobody ever thinks about me!" makes her a gigantic bitch. Which captures the character totally as far as I am concerned.

Good job!

Date: 2009-01-09 05:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] museofspeed.livejournal.com
She's not a bitch! She's just spent two freaking years (or however long it was...) mourning the jerk and it turns out he'd been alive the entire time!

...the other title I considered for this piece was "Not Everyone can be Scott Summers." But I decided it didn't fit with the tone of the piece.

Thank you!

Date: 2009-01-09 04:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cissie-king.livejournal.com
I hope there is a good explanation why Superboy is alive and never contacted Cassie. Otherwise, it will just make Kon an ass.

Date: 2009-01-09 06:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] museofspeed.livejournal.com
Well, he was in a bottle and tiny. Does that count?

Date: 2009-01-09 08:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cissie-king.livejournal.com
That's DC's official answer? I am behind my reading? So he was stuck in the bottle?

Date: 2009-01-09 08:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] museofspeed.livejournal.com
No, that is what I said in the fic. DC's official answer is we don't even know it's Kon.

Date: 2009-01-09 08:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cissie-king.livejournal.com
Oh, I caught that from your fanfic, I just hope DC's explanation doesn't make it look like Kon was alive all the time and didn't say anything just because.

Date: 2009-01-09 09:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] museofspeed.livejournal.com
Yeah, I don't think he would. Unless he had a really good reason.

Date: 2009-01-09 08:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kryceksangel.livejournal.com
Isn't Rose a villain now?

Date: 2009-01-09 09:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] museofspeed.livejournal.com
I don't even know. She's on the Terror Titans team now, but I'm pretty sure she's infiltrating them. I don't think she's a villain, and I bet she'll be rejoining the Titans at some point soon.

In any case, for the purpose of my fic, she's on the team.

Date: 2009-01-09 04:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cissie-king.livejournal.com
It will be awkward for her to return to the side of heroes an then meet the people she cut, maimed and left fingerless when she "pretended" to be a villain.

"Hey, remember that time you were brainwashed and I pretended to be a villain and then I cut your hand off? Good times, good times..."

Date: 2009-01-09 06:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] museofspeed.livejournal.com
Not like it's that unusual for heroes to be temporarily evil.

And Rose has been refusing to kill. Nothing worse than slicing off fingers.

She was also a villain before joining the Titans, so it won't be anything new.

Date: 2009-01-09 08:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cissie-king.livejournal.com
> Not like it's that unusual for heroes to be temporarily evil.

But Rose is not brainwashed or even temporarily evil, she is just as she always is.

It will make for some odd, uncomfortable staring at those JLA Barbecues.

"Hey, I am sorry for what I did to you, TNTeen. Let's just shake hands and... oh... I forgot."

Then again, TNTeen doesn't get invited to the barbecues.

Date: 2009-01-13 01:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] porntestpilot.livejournal.com
"Hey, I am sorry for what I did to you, TNTeen. Let's just shake hands and... oh... I forgot."

Those things are always awkward anyway.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2009-01-09 06:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] museofspeed.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Yeah, it wasn't a good situation all around. Poor Cassie and Kon.

Maybe I should write a happy resurrection story next. This one's sad.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2009-01-09 07:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] museofspeed.livejournal.com
Though technically I wrote a happy story about Bart coming back before this one, so it's balanced?

Tim took it a lot better than Cassie is. Huh.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2009-01-09 08:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] museofspeed.livejournal.com
Actually, I might be about to make a post on that. I think Cassie's more emotional while Tim kind of mutes his emotions and holds them in. He didn't take Kon's death well, but he didn't go through Cassie's self-discovery process. And he doesn't need to worry about whether or not he's dating Kon. His friend is back. That's all there is to it for him.

Date: 2009-01-13 01:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] porntestpilot.livejournal.com
I'd actually probably enjoy it if he did that. No, I know I would.

Date: 2009-01-13 04:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] museofspeed.livejournal.com
If he did what?

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