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museofspeedTitle: Teen Titans Squared Part 3: Teen Titans Cubed
Fandom: Teen Titans/Teen Titans Go!
Characters: All of the Pre-Final Crisis Titans plus Roy and Dick, Teen Titans Go! Titans plus Speedy and Kid Flash.
Pairings: Roy/Dick, Tim/Bart, Speedy/Robin, implied Kory/Alt!Raven.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1250
Previous Parts: Here.
Summary: The Titans of Tomorrow show up right when the Teen Titans and the Toon Titans were getting along! Time for a huge-ass Titans fight! Also see Robin fail to assert his heterosexuality!
Author's Notes: As usual, my beta,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
julius12, puts it best. "This series is soooo complicated and cracky but in an awesome way."
“Finally,” Conner muttered, “some action! And I’m sure my evil future self will be there, so I can wipe the floor with him-”
“Didn’t he completely clean your clock last time we fought them?” Cassie asked. “Since he’s got the same powers but more experience?”
“Hey, you should be happy too! Your finally going to get to fight a version of yourself, too.”
“Right, because that’s all I’ve been thinking about since this began. Oh, wait, that’s you.” Cassie rolled her eyes. “Look, Conner, why are you so eager to fight yourself anyways?”
“It’s just, don’t you think it’s weird that neither of us exist in that other universe?”
“Not really.”
“Well, I do.”
Cassie shrugged. “Whatever. Have fun getting your ass kicked.”
“So,” Speedy said, keeping a carefully measured distance between himself and Robin, “Other worlds, huh?”
“Yeah,” Robin said. “Weird.”
“Our alternates-”
“I don’t want to think about it,” Robin said. “Do you?”
“No, of course not. It’s just kind of - ”
“Nothing,” Robin said shortly, “Alternate universes. Don’t think about it. I just want to get home.”
“Okay. You don’t feel that way towards me, do you?”
“No! Of course not!” Robin said quickly. “Why, do you feel that way towards me?”
“No! Though, I mean, if you were, you know, that way, I wouldn’t hold it against you.”
“I don’t want to be held against you! I mean you don’t need to - agh. I’m going to go talk to Starfire now to reassert my heterosexuality.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Speedy said. “I’m going to chat with girl Speedy over there.”
“Hey, Ti- Ro- ‘Alvin,’” Bart said. “What’s up with alterna-Robin and alterna-Speedy over there?”
“They just found out that Nightwing and Arsenal are dating,” Tim told him. “Now they’re worrying about the fact that they are both attracted to each other, but because of the heterosexual bias both of them were raised with, they are denying it implicitly.”
“Oh,” Bart said. “Cool.”
“It’s like watching a soap opera,” Mia said, “Only without advertisements.”
“Shouldn’t we be focusing on how we’re gonna defeat these losers?” Bart asked.
“Of course,” Tim said. “But Nightwing, the other Robin, and I already outlined several plans of attack, and we have more members than they probably expect.”
“Except they used to be us, right? So won’t they remember?” Bart asked.
“Probably,” Tim said, “But what else can we do?”
“No idea,” Bart said. “Hey, Tim?”
“Alvin around the alternate universe Titans.”
“Tim,” Bart said quietly. “Do you have a heterosexual bias?”
“With Nightwing as an older brother?” Tim said.
“Point. Tim, if we don’t make it out of here alive, I just want you to know that, well, I love you.”
Mia snickered. Tim glared at her.
Bart nervously played with his Flash ring.
“Bart-”
Bart ran forward and kissed Tim at just below lightspeed. He blushed and dashed away.
“Robin!” Kid Flash yelped, running over.
“Can it wait, Kid Flash?” Robin asked. “I’m busy talking to Starfire.”
“It is alright, friend Robin!” Starfire said. “I wish to talk to my new friend Rachel, now!” She flew off.
Robin rubbed his face. “What is it, Kid Flash?”
“I just saw the other Kid Flash kissing the other Robin!”
Robin groaned.
“This,” Gar said, a hand on Beast Boy’s shoulder, “is what we in the comedy business call ‘wacky hijinks.’”
“What, everyone kissing everyone else?”
“No, events conspiring to make your buddy Robin over there embarrassed and worried about his precious heterosexuality.”
“Oh. Wait, what?”
“You’ll understand when you’re older.”
“You meditate?” Raven said, “Wow, Kory, the Starfire I know can hardly sit still. Unless she has her polish of the nails.”
Kory snorted. “I can’t see how you stand to be near someone as…perky as your Starfire seems to be.”
Raven shrugged. “I manage. I won’t say it’s always fun, but at least she’s never called me creepy.”
“Who called you creepy?” Kory asked. “I would defend the Raven of my world against any who would insult her!”
Raven gave a small smile. If only this were the Starfire of her world.
They arrived just in time to stop the Batman of the future from killing a random thug.
“Hey!” Bart shouted. He and Kid Flash ran forward to distract Batman while Tim knocked away the gun with a batarang.
The fight was on.
“KidFlashwereyoukissingRobin?” Kid Flash asked.
Bart blushed. “NotthetimeKidFlash!Tellyoulaterokay?”
“Soundslikeaplan.” Together, they attempted to rain blows on the big, red, devil Titan.
“I can’t believe this,” Conner moaned. He flew down to pick up Batman and shouted, “Where’s my future self?”
“Superman and Wonder Woman are on their honeymoon,” Batman growled. “That makes it possible for me to do this.” He opened a lead box, and Conner suddenly felt weak.
“Aw, man! Kryptonite is not…playing…fair…” he moaned. He started to fall, letting go of Batman as he went. Cassie flew down to catch him. The pale Titan girl that Conner didn’t recognize caught Batman.
“This isn’t right,” Tim muttered. “Nightwing! The Flash was good last time! Why is he with these guys?”
“No idea, but I don’t think we can count on him to go easy on us!” Nightwing said. He was parrying as fast as he could, but not even Bat training matched the speed of the Flash. “Oy, Kid Flashes!”
The Two Kid Flashes ran over to help him take out the older Bart.
“This isn’t working,” Tim growled. “They’re us.”
“And we have absolutely no interest in hurting you,” Batman said from behind him. “That would only hurt us.”
Tim turned around. “Then what do you want? I told you, I’m never going to be Batman.”
“Just to talk.” Batman easily dodged Tim’s punch. “If I call off my people will you call off yours?”
“Fine,” Tim said reluctantly. “Titans! Truce!”
Batman nodded. “Truce.”
“For now,” Tim said.
“We’ll see,” Batman said.
“Well?” Tim asked.
“We didn’t manage to convince you of the effectiveness of our approach when last you left,” Batman said.
“Um, duh!” Bart said. “You guys are the bad guys!”
Batman glared. Bart hid behind Tim.
“We aren’t, as Bart puts it, the ‘bad guys.’ We’ve simply adopted more efficient methods of dealing with the criminal populace.”
“B-A-D-space-G-U-Y-S!” Bart muttered.
“There are lines we don’t cross,” Tim said. “Murder is one of them.”
“It isn’t that simple,” Batman said.
“Eeeeeeviiiillll,” Bart said.
“Quit it, Bart,” Tim said.
“Sorry,” Bart said. “Hey, is anyone going to explain why my future self’s evil again?”
“No,” the Flash said, “Because I’m not evil.”
“Evil by our standards, whatever,” Bart said, waving a hand dismissively. “I thought you were on Titans East, though.”
“You thought wrong,” the Flash said. “I’m on the right side.”
“Not the point,” Batman cut in. “There are things in your future we cannot tell you about.” For a moment, Batman’s face seemed to soften a bit. “I truly am sorry about that.”
“I don’t want to know what you think is in my future,” Tim said. “I want you to leave my time period.”
“Um, guys,” Beast Boy said.
“I told you, first we need to discuss your future,” Batman said.
“Guuuys,” Beast Boy said.
“Not an option. I’d rather die than become you,” Tim said.
“HEY, GUYS!” Beast Boy yelled. Everyone looked at him. “Who’s Inertia?”
“My evil clone,” Bart said. “Why?”
“Because there’s an alert,” Beast Boy said. “Apparently Inertia, Ravager, Red X, Blackfire, and Duela Dent are attacking the tower! And…Terra’s there too!”
NEXT! TEEN TITANS^4! AND WHERE ARE ALL THE SUPERBOY ALTERNATES?
Fandom: Teen Titans/Teen Titans Go!
Characters: All of the Pre-Final Crisis Titans plus Roy and Dick, Teen Titans Go! Titans plus Speedy and Kid Flash.
Pairings: Roy/Dick, Tim/Bart, Speedy/Robin, implied Kory/Alt!Raven.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1250
Previous Parts: Here.
Summary: The Titans of Tomorrow show up right when the Teen Titans and the Toon Titans were getting along! Time for a huge-ass Titans fight! Also see Robin fail to assert his heterosexuality!
Author's Notes: As usual, my beta,
julius12, puts it best. "This series is soooo complicated and cracky but in an awesome way."“Finally,” Conner muttered, “some action! And I’m sure my evil future self will be there, so I can wipe the floor with him-”
“Didn’t he completely clean your clock last time we fought them?” Cassie asked. “Since he’s got the same powers but more experience?”
“Hey, you should be happy too! Your finally going to get to fight a version of yourself, too.”
“Right, because that’s all I’ve been thinking about since this began. Oh, wait, that’s you.” Cassie rolled her eyes. “Look, Conner, why are you so eager to fight yourself anyways?”
“It’s just, don’t you think it’s weird that neither of us exist in that other universe?”
“Not really.”
“Well, I do.”
Cassie shrugged. “Whatever. Have fun getting your ass kicked.”
“So,” Speedy said, keeping a carefully measured distance between himself and Robin, “Other worlds, huh?”
“Yeah,” Robin said. “Weird.”
“Our alternates-”
“I don’t want to think about it,” Robin said. “Do you?”
“No, of course not. It’s just kind of - ”
“Nothing,” Robin said shortly, “Alternate universes. Don’t think about it. I just want to get home.”
“Okay. You don’t feel that way towards me, do you?”
“No! Of course not!” Robin said quickly. “Why, do you feel that way towards me?”
“No! Though, I mean, if you were, you know, that way, I wouldn’t hold it against you.”
“I don’t want to be held against you! I mean you don’t need to - agh. I’m going to go talk to Starfire now to reassert my heterosexuality.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Speedy said. “I’m going to chat with girl Speedy over there.”
“Hey, Ti- Ro- ‘Alvin,’” Bart said. “What’s up with alterna-Robin and alterna-Speedy over there?”
“They just found out that Nightwing and Arsenal are dating,” Tim told him. “Now they’re worrying about the fact that they are both attracted to each other, but because of the heterosexual bias both of them were raised with, they are denying it implicitly.”
“Oh,” Bart said. “Cool.”
“It’s like watching a soap opera,” Mia said, “Only without advertisements.”
“Shouldn’t we be focusing on how we’re gonna defeat these losers?” Bart asked.
“Of course,” Tim said. “But Nightwing, the other Robin, and I already outlined several plans of attack, and we have more members than they probably expect.”
“Except they used to be us, right? So won’t they remember?” Bart asked.
“Probably,” Tim said, “But what else can we do?”
“No idea,” Bart said. “Hey, Tim?”
“Alvin around the alternate universe Titans.”
“Tim,” Bart said quietly. “Do you have a heterosexual bias?”
“With Nightwing as an older brother?” Tim said.
“Point. Tim, if we don’t make it out of here alive, I just want you to know that, well, I love you.”
Mia snickered. Tim glared at her.
Bart nervously played with his Flash ring.
“Bart-”
Bart ran forward and kissed Tim at just below lightspeed. He blushed and dashed away.
“Robin!” Kid Flash yelped, running over.
“Can it wait, Kid Flash?” Robin asked. “I’m busy talking to Starfire.”
“It is alright, friend Robin!” Starfire said. “I wish to talk to my new friend Rachel, now!” She flew off.
Robin rubbed his face. “What is it, Kid Flash?”
“I just saw the other Kid Flash kissing the other Robin!”
Robin groaned.
“This,” Gar said, a hand on Beast Boy’s shoulder, “is what we in the comedy business call ‘wacky hijinks.’”
“What, everyone kissing everyone else?”
“No, events conspiring to make your buddy Robin over there embarrassed and worried about his precious heterosexuality.”
“Oh. Wait, what?”
“You’ll understand when you’re older.”
“You meditate?” Raven said, “Wow, Kory, the Starfire I know can hardly sit still. Unless she has her polish of the nails.”
Kory snorted. “I can’t see how you stand to be near someone as…perky as your Starfire seems to be.”
Raven shrugged. “I manage. I won’t say it’s always fun, but at least she’s never called me creepy.”
“Who called you creepy?” Kory asked. “I would defend the Raven of my world against any who would insult her!”
Raven gave a small smile. If only this were the Starfire of her world.
They arrived just in time to stop the Batman of the future from killing a random thug.
“Hey!” Bart shouted. He and Kid Flash ran forward to distract Batman while Tim knocked away the gun with a batarang.
The fight was on.
“KidFlashwereyoukissingRobin?” Kid Flash asked.
Bart blushed. “NotthetimeKidFlash!Tellyoulaterokay?”
“Soundslikeaplan.” Together, they attempted to rain blows on the big, red, devil Titan.
“I can’t believe this,” Conner moaned. He flew down to pick up Batman and shouted, “Where’s my future self?”
“Superman and Wonder Woman are on their honeymoon,” Batman growled. “That makes it possible for me to do this.” He opened a lead box, and Conner suddenly felt weak.
“Aw, man! Kryptonite is not…playing…fair…” he moaned. He started to fall, letting go of Batman as he went. Cassie flew down to catch him. The pale Titan girl that Conner didn’t recognize caught Batman.
“This isn’t right,” Tim muttered. “Nightwing! The Flash was good last time! Why is he with these guys?”
“No idea, but I don’t think we can count on him to go easy on us!” Nightwing said. He was parrying as fast as he could, but not even Bat training matched the speed of the Flash. “Oy, Kid Flashes!”
The Two Kid Flashes ran over to help him take out the older Bart.
“This isn’t working,” Tim growled. “They’re us.”
“And we have absolutely no interest in hurting you,” Batman said from behind him. “That would only hurt us.”
Tim turned around. “Then what do you want? I told you, I’m never going to be Batman.”
“Just to talk.” Batman easily dodged Tim’s punch. “If I call off my people will you call off yours?”
“Fine,” Tim said reluctantly. “Titans! Truce!”
Batman nodded. “Truce.”
“For now,” Tim said.
“We’ll see,” Batman said.
“Well?” Tim asked.
“We didn’t manage to convince you of the effectiveness of our approach when last you left,” Batman said.
“Um, duh!” Bart said. “You guys are the bad guys!”
Batman glared. Bart hid behind Tim.
“We aren’t, as Bart puts it, the ‘bad guys.’ We’ve simply adopted more efficient methods of dealing with the criminal populace.”
“B-A-D-space-G-U-Y-S!” Bart muttered.
“There are lines we don’t cross,” Tim said. “Murder is one of them.”
“It isn’t that simple,” Batman said.
“Eeeeeeviiiillll,” Bart said.
“Quit it, Bart,” Tim said.
“Sorry,” Bart said. “Hey, is anyone going to explain why my future self’s evil again?”
“No,” the Flash said, “Because I’m not evil.”
“Evil by our standards, whatever,” Bart said, waving a hand dismissively. “I thought you were on Titans East, though.”
“You thought wrong,” the Flash said. “I’m on the right side.”
“Not the point,” Batman cut in. “There are things in your future we cannot tell you about.” For a moment, Batman’s face seemed to soften a bit. “I truly am sorry about that.”
“I don’t want to know what you think is in my future,” Tim said. “I want you to leave my time period.”
“Um, guys,” Beast Boy said.
“I told you, first we need to discuss your future,” Batman said.
“Guuuys,” Beast Boy said.
“Not an option. I’d rather die than become you,” Tim said.
“HEY, GUYS!” Beast Boy yelled. Everyone looked at him. “Who’s Inertia?”
“My evil clone,” Bart said. “Why?”
“Because there’s an alert,” Beast Boy said. “Apparently Inertia, Ravager, Red X, Blackfire, and Duela Dent are attacking the tower! And…Terra’s there too!”
NEXT! TEEN TITANS^4! AND WHERE ARE ALL THE SUPERBOY ALTERNATES?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-01-06 01:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-06 02:05 am (UTC)This fic is very much crack and insanity. That's why it's fun to write!
no subject
Date: 2008-01-12 04:58 am (UTC)Write more please, I'm enjoying this way too much.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-12 03:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-12 09:20 am (UTC)I shall tell you how much love there is when I can get over this fit of giggles.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-12 03:30 pm (UTC)I have gotten you addicted to crack?
no subject
Date: 2009-02-11 04:11 am (UTC)Also, it's been over a year, so is there a chance of an update, or has your muse fizzled? :(
no subject
Date: 2009-02-11 05:57 am (UTC)I might finish Young Justice Riders (http://shananagin.livejournal.com/tag/young+justice+riders) though. I've been rereading it. No promises, though.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-11 08:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-11 09:38 pm (UTC)Hmm. Maybe I'll make a poll and ask people if they want me to finish one story and which it should be.
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Date: 2009-02-11 10:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-11 11:23 pm (UTC)