Sherlock Holmes is a dick.

[museofspeed]

So I've started listening to Sherlock Holmes audio books as I walk. Now, I got my audio book from Librivox, so now I think everyone there sounds like a woman from the South. It's very confusing.

So my impressions so far.

Sherlock Holmes is a dick. And Watson is his bitch.

Seriously, in the first chapter he basically told Watson that he was stupid, and by the second or third, he'd told him that he had no friends. He also thinly disguises these compliments as insults by telling Watson, for instance, that he enjoys listening to his theories because they are so dead wrong that he can immediately knock any conclusions he draws out of the realm of possibility! Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit, but still! He's a dick. Oh, and in the last chapter I read? He just whored Watson out to some people who showed up! He was like, "Well, I'm too busy to go with you, but Watson'll go!" And Watson was surprised by this. Geeze, Watson, grow a pair. And leave Holmes because he is not a nice guy.

I will admit that I love the descriptions Doyle uses. He's amazing at painting with words. Far better than I am. Damn, I wish I could describe people like that.

Also, I keep hoping Holmes is wrong in any conclusion he draws because he's so damn smug!

Also, my Sherlock Holmes impression:

The part of Watson shall be played tonight by felonazcorp.

felonazcorp:Haha, how does Batman showering have anything to do with Sherlock whoring out Watson?
shananagin: Elementary, my dear Feebus.
shananagin: Sherlock Holmes is a detective, and a clean one at that.
shananagin: Therefore he bathes regularly.
felonazcorp: XD
shananagin: Batman, is also a detective, and a good one at that.
felonazcorp: And he showers!
shananagin: So what could be more appropriate?
felonazcorp: Ah, I see!
shananagin: Indeed!
shananagin: Now, go fetch my pipe and give me a foot massage while I discuss how much smarter than you I am.

On that note, I would love to read bad Holmes/Watson fic.

"Watson, I have deduced that you are attracted to me."

"But, that's amazing! How ever did you figure that out?"

"Elementary. You get hard every time I make a deduction."

Comments

[second-batgirl.livejournal.com]

My roommate knew exactly who you were talking about. She knows her!

[museofspeed.livejournal.com]

That's so funny!

Tell your roommate to tell her that I thank her. Without her I would be so damn bored every ten minute walk to and from the dining hall.

Man, the internet is such a small place.