Various writing ficlets!

[museofspeed]

Title: Avocado
Rating: G
Pairing: Harley/Ivy
Author's Note: Ah, Harley and Ivy.


"Hey, Red, guess what's in my coat pocket!" Harley shouted, crashing into the greenhouse.

Ivy gritted her teeth. "What is it?" she snapped. "And make it quick. I'm working on an important experiment."

"Geeze, I wouldn'ta bothered if I thought you'd be so mean about it, Pammy," Harley said.

"Harley..."

"No, no, it ain't like I'm important. Maybe I'll just go back to the Joker. He cares about you."

Poison Ivy carefully put aside the plant toxins she was working with and turned to Harley. "He's tried to kill you repeatedly!"

"That's how he shows his love!"

"That clown - " Ivy took a deep breath. "Look, Harl, I'm sorry, okay? What were you going to show me?"

Harley grinned and pulled a pit out of her pocket.

"An avocado seed," Ivy said dryly. "This is what you wanted to show me?"

"Well, I know you like all kindsa plants, and it was that or throw it away an' then it would just die, so I thought I'd bring it to you."

Ivy looked at Harley. The clown seemed torn between hope and worry. "Well," she said. "Give it here. I'll put it in some water to get it started."

Harley grinned widely. "Gee, you're the best, Red!" She bounced forward and grabbed Ivy into a bone-crushing hug.

Ivy groaned. She was already regretting humoring Harley.

Title:Dead Ant
Rating: PG
Pairing: Bruce/Selina
Author's Note The title amused me too much not to use. I don't know when this takes place, but it's not current canon, clearly.


"Catwoman."

Selina did not jump as Batman melted out of the shadows. She'd been practicing not being scared by him.

"Batman," she said, smirking. "Thought you might show up here."

"Put down the diamond," he growled.

"This?" Selina asked, dangling the pink-tinted diamond in front of her. "But it's so pretty!"

"The Pink Panther diamond is too important for me to allow you to walk out with it."

"Now, now." Selina slunk over to Batman and ran a hand down his armored chest. "I'm sure we can...work something out."

"Selina - "

"Shhh." Selina wrapped an arm around his neck and kissed him, feeling his mask digging into her cheek.

Batman put an arm around her waist and kissed her back. Selina almost regretted slipping the handcuffs out of his belt and locking his other wrist to the emerald exhibit.

Almost.

She pulled back slowly, and grinned. "Later, Batman," she said, jumping out the window.

She knew it wouldn't take him long to pick the lock, so she put as much distance between the two of them as possible as quickly as she could.

Still...

It would have been nice if she could have stayed. Made love to Batman right there in the museum. Done her time and come out reformed. Maybe Batman could even fall in love with her.

Selina pulled the diamond out and watched the light reflect through it and around her small apartment. It might be nice to dream, but she knew that diamonds were less likely to let her down.

Title:Fire Hazard
Rating: G
Pairing: Spider-Man/Human Torch
Author's Note: This might be the first time I've written these two, but given the prompt, I couldn't resist. Also, woah, short fic.


"Something's burning!" Peter announced, swinging onto the roof of the Baxter Building.

Johnny rolled his eyes. "Funny, Webhead."

"I'm known for my witty quips. What's up, Flamebrain?"

"Going on patrol. Thought you might want to come."

"Sure," Peter said. "But careful. Us friendly neighborhood Spider-Men don't like getting burned."

"I'll be careful. You know I wouldn't want to hurt you."

"Sure," Peter said, jumping off the roof. "Just see if you can keep up!"

Title:Damsel in Distress
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Bernard/Tim/Steph
Author's Note: I was working on Spoiled when this prompt came up. My mind went there. Um, I guess this can count for greeneyelove's threesomes or more challenge?


"Tim!" Bernard yelled into the cellphone. "You've got to come now! It's an emergency!"

"Bernard!" Tim yelled. "I - what's wrong? Where are you?"

"I'm at my house. Oh dear god, the horror!" Bernard rubbed a candy rapper on the mouthpiece of the phone.

"I'm having trouble hearing you!" Tim said. "Look, I'll be there as fast as I can."

Bernard hung up and smirked at Steph. "Think he'll buy it?"

Steph shrugged and started pulling off her costume. "He better. We've worked damn hard to ensure we can give him a threesome for his birthday."

"Indeed. Clever move, bringing Nightwing in to cover his patrol."

"And you know there's no way he would have ever stopped if left to himself."

"That's our Timmy," Bernard said, smirking slightly.

Robin swung through the open window. "Bernard! Steph! Wait, what's the emergency?"

"Oh, look at her!" Bernard said. "Don't you recognize a damsel in distress when you see her?"

ETA one more!
Title: No Healing Factor
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Bart/Tim/Kon
Author's Note: Actually wrote this one a while ago and never really shared it. So here!


"I hate you both," Tim said.

"Weren't you just shoutin' on about how much you loved us?" Bart asked cheerily.

"Yeah, Bart and I don't need you to participate if you don't want to," Kon said. "We've always got each other."

Tim rolled his eyes. "You know I don't mean it like that, guys. I'm just, agh," he fingered the hickeys on his neck. "I have no idea how I'm going to explain this to my parents. Or Batman."

"Oh," Bart said in a small voice.

"I'd like to propose a new rule," Kon said. "From now on we only leave marks on the non-meta where Batman can't see them."

Bart nodded slowly. "That's fair."


In other news, I'm currently almost done with one of my OTP prompts, working on the other two, and working on my xmenfirstclass fic.

I'm also part-way done with the third part of Spoiled. I'd go faster if I didn't have these other things with a due date.

And I'm trying to write my Bart hooker fic with Anita as his pimp where he runs off with Carol, and it's turning out to be severely less cracky and more depressing than it ought to be with that description. I'm not sure if I'll keep writing it or start over and make it lighter and funnier. Everyone's kind of out of character, but it's not so much because I'm writing them wrong as that I think they'd be different people in this universe. Bart is not a happy, innocent kid because he's living on the streets selling his body for money. And Anita-the-Pimp is damn tough. Carol's herself, though.

Comments

[dariclone.livejournal.com]

That Harley/Ivy was *so* funny, as was the Selina/Bruce. I'd never read Peter/Johnny before but I like it also.

[museofspeed.livejournal.com]

Oh, thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed them!

Haha, these are old!